Friday, July 19, 2013

I Tried

     After I wrote this morning's post, I drove to the beach to swim.  I didn't swim.  Walking the three blocks to the sand tweaked my back and then I saw rough water in the surf zone.  It was nice out with an overcast sky, the temperature was cool, about 72 at the beach.  Water temp 67.
     Past the surf the water was beautiful and flat.  However, I didn't have my "edge" that I need to do my thing out there.  I didn't feel confident that my body would hold up today so I did an about-face and went home.
     These pictures were not taken of the bigger, four-foot swells, but of the two-foot swells coming in.  Normally I would be saying that it was an amazing day in the water with this water.  There were extra lifeguards out and the yellow lifeguard boat was also out there.  Lots of surfers.  I think I'll go again on a mellow day since it's been so long.

"The first time you quit is the last time you try."

Over One Month Without Salt Water

     I have not been in the water since early June.  That's crazy.  I'm not quitting, but my low back pain will not let up.  I just go to doctors, physical therapists, the out-patient surgery center, and take meds.  I was put out to pasture by my federal job due to my inability to stand for long without mucho pain and spasms.  I also had to bend and reach down in slow motion so I didn't have something slip out of whack.  I had to request to use a telephone headset because my neck is fused.  My work was hustle-bustle, run around like crazy, reach over two customer counters that I served, and bend over repeatedly to get products.  Then they raised my countertops so that I would not be able to sit down and stand up as needed to give my back a break.  Chairs were disallowed.  Silly, but that's what happens when you get old.  Too much for me anymore.
     I did two "requests for accommodation" for disability, which is required by law, but the government puts you through the mill and grinds you up with their paperwork requirements.  You can't win, or if you win your job duties will be changed to break you down.  This was my experience.  By the time I got a lawyer the disability retirement was welcome.
     But let me return to the ocean.  My last swim messed up my back for a week.  Since then I have experienced four separate trips to the out-patient surgery center for lumbar pain nerve blocks and also radio-frequency nerve ablation injections.  They have only helped decrease the pain by one-third, I'd say.  I want to go swim but I know that I'll suffer for it for a week afterward with the meds, ice packs, TENS unit, and pain.  Raw deal.
     Actually, just writing this is motivating me a bit to get my lazy butt to the beach.  I read a few swim blogs and I'm jealous of the swimmers.  Aghrrr...  We'll see.

"The first time you quit is the last time you try."